I'm sorry...

I'm sorry about my last blog post.  I really do not need to post about bawling and weeping and life descending into chaos.  Sure, I think it's important to "keep it real."  But for me "real" is the rhythms of daily life, the steady march forward.  There is not a lot of drama in my life right now.  Life is tiring.  But not dramatic, and thank goodness for that.  Earlier that day I'd thought that I should start posting more often, even if it's boring, even if it's just some of the regular not-at-all special things we did that day, even if it's not thoughtful at all.  But by the end of the day, when I sat down to type, all I could think about was how much I had cried, which was kind of a big deal because I really don't cry very much anymore.

Anyway, here is a picture of Sara in her winter suit, which she has basically lived in the last few months, and then a list of some unrelated random thoughts.

1. We have a musical beds thing going on in our house right now.  Last night David and Mary slept in my bed, Sara slept in Mary's room, and I slept in the office.  It was darling putting Mary and David to bed in the same bed.  And even more darling when I woke up this morning and found them both lying in bed reading.  I love those two.  They are such good, good kids.
2. So the goose egg I was afraid of didn't appear.  But I did (do?) have a concussion.  Ha ha.  It's so sad I have to laugh.  I am improving.  Wednesday was the worst.  Also, I think I should sign Mary up for soft ball.  That girl can swing.
3. We have started having the sister missionaries over regularly.  They bring such a feeling of peace with them. 
4. One of the things I have done to simplify my life is NO BANANAS FOR SARA.  They are so messy and they stain and I don't know why I'm being so weird about it because I let her eat all kinds of messy foods but I have to draw the line somewhere and I draw it at bananas. 
5. Time feels like it is passing faster now.  That's good.
6. Today the house is clean and the car is clean.  Well, I should say: The house was clean and the car was clean.  It was nice while it lasted.
7. David and Mary played outside with the neighborhood kids after school.  Then we went to Culver's (it tastes better in Wisconsin), where Sara stuffed her mouth with chicken and then spit it all out.  Very appetizing. Then I dropped Mary off at ballet, drove home to start the laundry, and then went back to pick Mary up.  Then is was straight to bed for my babies.  That pretty much sums up most of our Friday nights.
8. I am not super dooper over-the-top nice to my kids' friends.  They are welcome here.  And I am happy they are here.  It is safe and stable and peaceful and there are lots of things to do and sometimes there are snacks.  That is enough.  I'm too tired to treat them better than I treat my own children, and that's okay.
9. It's harder to blog when your kids get older because they deserve their privacy.  I have so much I want to "talk about" here about David and Mary and our struggles and triumphs and worries over the last year or so.  But I never will.  I will talk to you about it in person, in confidence.  But I can't post it.  That's an enormous part of my life that is off limits for blogging.  
10. I can blog about Sara, of course.  But she's so sweet, and, to be honest, it's not as fun to blog about sweetness.  It's more fun to blog about what a pain in the patootie your kid is.  But she's not.  But I will say it's more fun to LIVE with a kid who's not a patootie in the rear, even if it's not as much fun to blog about.  Hooray for boring Sara is Sweet blog posts!  May they never end...
11. I am going to bed, without even glancing back once for a quick proofread.  Take that, Perfectionist Within! 
12. And so good night.