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| Sara sits on her dad's lap as he signs his updated will. |
Greg leaves this Friday at 3:30 in the morning. He is going first to El Paso for combat skills training. The training is not structured in such a way for us to visit him there before he goes overseas. We will say good-bye Thursday night, and that will be that.
After training in El Paso, he will be stationed at a base in Qatar. From Qatar he will be traveling to Army bases throughout the region checking on various engineering projects. Some people have asked if I will visit him in Qatar, and the answer is no. Sure, Qatar is not a war zone. We even have friends that live there. (Hi, Tyler and Mary!) But a deployment is a deployment. It's military life and work 24-7, site-seeing with family certainly not included. (His year in Honduras was technically not a deployment. I used that term sometimes on my blog because it was easier to understand than "short-tour PCS.") Even if I traveled all the way to Qatar, he would not necessarily have time/be allowed to see me, and he probably wouldn't even be in the country.
So we will say good-bye Thursday night, and that will be that. Until sometime in August.
I know people wonder if I worry about what will happen. I'm not always exactly sure what they mean by this questions, but I assume they wonder if I worry about what could happen to Greg.
I guess I do. I mean, since we updated our wills and powers of attorney and all that stuff, we talked a lot about worst-case scenarios. So it's not like we haven't thought about the worst that could happen. But our discussions all seemed pretty theoretical. Though I will say that there is real peace that comes from knowing all of your affairs are in order, especially concerning your children. I highly recommend this, whatever your situation is.
I wish Greg were going to be safe and sound on the base in Qatar the whole time. The travel itself from base to base worries me, and I'm not too excited about some of the places he could travel to. But, at least so far, I don't worry about it too much.
To be honest, I worry more about myself. And my ability to handle things. I'm not talking about if some big crisis happens. Like most people, I can rise to the occasion in a crisis. I'll deal with it when it comes. I worry much more about small crises and mundane tasks.
Like,
- Saturdays
- Getting enough sleep
- Remembering to collect and take out the garbage and recycling on Sunday nights
- Dinnertime
- Losing my wallet
- Losing my phone
- How I will "catch up" on life if a sickness or something unexpected throws us out of our routine
- Computer problems, even very minor ones
- Snow
- A billing problem with Tricare
- Adjusting straps on strollers and car seats
- The yard
- Resetting the wireless router
- Passwords
- Clogged toilets
- Church
- Bugs
Worrying about Greg almost feels like a luxury, an emotional indulgence that I can't afford right now. I am more concerned with my own survival and that of my children. Maybe that is selfish. Maybe it's a defense mechanism. But it's the truth.
So if you ask if I am worried, the answer is yes.
But it probably has more to do with my toilets than my husband.
